Cradle your Head in your Hands...

...and Just Breathe

Three years ago when I started college I had goals. Colorful, brilliant goals such as but not limited to
a) To NOT eat excessive amounts of Toblerone. ("excessive" to be later defined)
b)To NOT date a "loser".(" Loser" also to be later defined)
c) Do not undo the 'identity' we wasted a lot of teenage years having a crisis, or crises about. (You see why bother with the teenage drama of trying to figure out who in the world you are-or are not, just so you can get to college and decide that you don't like it, so now lets start over...pointless, don't you agree?)
d) Get the degree of course, among other things.

3 years,4 migraines and 16,000 cups of espresso later, this is a report on how we are doing:
AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Also, I can't tell whether I am laughing or crying most of the time. Maybe because if you speak to gummy bears before you eat them, it messes with your ability to separate different emotional expressions.

And We are Published!! I mean me and the other more reasonable me who wrote the poems that got published in this years SeasWells. Yippee!!!!

Discovered that Leona Lewis on repeat is a fantastic way to wash and detail a car without thinking about it, mostly because you are probably consumed by weird mental imagery involving multiple body mutilations..bleeding love! (beautiful pop song by the way!!!)

A certain wonderful someone brought a single long stem rose to me at work today. :) and :) again. Just when you swear that you cant stand cliches, you find that in fact they are the sweetest little surprises when life gets so old and annoyingly blah...

Jekyll Island this weekend with all my books and a beach towel with the potential to double as a blanket when I fall asleep in absolute mental despair.

I'll see you soon. Maybe.

Happy Birthday David and Nicole.

Playlist Notes: Breathe (2am)-Anna Nalick.

Matchbox Twenty!

The thing about big dreams is that when they fall apart, you have a million little pieces lying on the floor, and no where to start getting any, or some of it back together again. But people say, think big, and chase your dreams. and all that. I think you should listen to them, but try to remember what I said. The higher up you climb, the longer your suicide fall is.
I've been busy all weekend, kind of felt like an extension of last week only in even poorer taste, because somewhere inside of my stressed out, caffeinated self, there is a bubbly little girl with funny hair and missing front teeth, a naked barbie doll and a heart of gold. And that little girl wants to play.
That's just too bad for her. Because it is 11:55. I'm beat. and Tomorrow is Monday, and I think I have two freaking tests even though I've only studied for one.
Fade Away? why not?

Play list Notes: Fade Away-Mary J. Blige.
and ALL the Matchbox Twenty songs in the world.

gravy,potatoes,degrees. all the above.

So I finally gave in to the long ignored need to separate my pictures from my yadayada. I guess that probably confirms the theory my classmates have been testing in a couple of ways-Yes, I am compulsive. I keep the gravy separate from the mashed potatoes.
So in keeping with the compulsive spirit, feel free to go my gallery, if you ever start to miss my imaging finesse.:)

I had lunch with a Nursing major I shared a microbiology class with in the fall of 2005, and he said he is graduating next month. (Congratulations...and all that) Now I'm thinking this is taking too long. It is long and weird..so weird it makes meatballs with veggies, and strawberry flavoured milk seem like a normal lunch.
Anyway, we returned our trays, and parted ways. Maybe that's the last memory I will have of him, sitting across from me in a crowded cafeteria trying to contain his excitement on a new career, maybe we will run into each other again-it's a small world you know.
But the important thing is it is weird how you will randomly eat lunch with someone who makes you wonder about your life. Your choices. The things you allow to control your schedule, for sometimes many many years. Is the other me laughing from somewhere in the parallel universe, telling me I could have gone to SCAD, had my digital photography and Interior design degrees by now and have a real-as opposed to online gallery?
Maybe.
But then there are the days when I dream about radio Isotopes and how magical things are in the world of radiation....

No I can't afford to pay for bi-weekly therapy.


Play list notes:Shuffle,let your i-pod surprise you. Life is random after all.

Blah. Blah. and Blah.

I was having the perfect(even though hectic) semester, with no really alarming issues. And then today, I started to self-destruct. It is an intrinsic function I can not help. Things will be ticking along just fine, life will be relatively okay(whatever that is), and then I will find that that is the perfect time to go and screw it all up.
Needless to say(even though I am saying it) I have to do some damage control in the subsequent weeks.

Ray called me just to make me laugh. That's how to define priceless friends. The ones who sit in outside your jail cell after you are locked up for DUI and try to treat your hangover with Tylenol and PeptoBismol. (do they even let people in with meds for inmates?-anyway you get the point. He made me laugh and I felt better)

Today I looked through old pictures of me that some of my friends keep. Pictures I would have deleted if they had been on my memory card for various reasons, like -drunken, high, nose looks preposterous, I look pooped, I look old, have no butt...you know...there are days when my photogenic gene tries to act non existent.
anyway, those pictures are hilarious in retrospect. and,No I will not post them to share the big joke as clearly that would be way too much information.
So the moral of the story is, don't delete bad pictures of you. They will tickle you one day.
and then you will and thank God for growing up,and for how wonderful you look now.

Play list Notes:It's only Life-Katie Voegele
oh, and Ciara's Get Up. ( it's good to dance a little!)