...that I don't understand the shift of priorities. How the thing(s) we once were devoted to, the focus of our energies, what used to drive us, and what certainly felt like the most important thing in the world slowly or suddenly disintegrates into tiny invisible insignificant pieces lost in the piling of a carpet. Forgotten, we tread upon them, our feet rushing off to find this new dream, unaware of tiny forgotten pieces of yesterday.
I don't understand why I can't remember yesterday's morning coffee serenading me into the day, why I stayed up all night typing admission essays. I don't get at all. Why they bother to be a big deal, if they won't be a big deal for long?
I know it is late, and I shouldn't be up whining online because tomorrow when the stupid alarm makes its stupid noise, it won't matter anymore whether or not I get this life at all. Maybe I will get credit for wondering . Perhaps they will forgive me, these forgotten dreams will overlook the crime when, upon my confusion they gaze. Is everything really just another phase?
Because I have had many of those you know.
From respectable to retarded, I've been the queen of phasing. And I hate to throw all these parts of me away, in hurry to find the latest thing to be. Stability is a big illusion. The only reality is confusion.
(logs off and hides under covers)
'A cold wind will blow through your door' -deliciously haunting song I'm very in love with!! Very.
Monday, February 09, 2009
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10 comments:
Socksies!
I feel like I ought to be coming up with something smart right about now. All I can say though, is that I understand completely.
I heard( through the grape vine) that you have been running around hyperventilating about the nuc.med interview.sweetie you were always the smartest of the bunch.I know you'll knock em dead. don't stay up too late- breathe.sucks that I'm not there to remind you everyday
BTW-Your confusion is charming.
It is going to be fine, all of it.I cant wait to see you scotchmunchkin, stay sane.
Anthony is making you comfort potatoes. smile chica!!
xoxo
Tasha!
Dont worry about the past or the future, just focus on the present and make this best of it. you'll be fine :-)
No one knows, so don't worry. Life is so much more fun with all the unanswered questions.
hey...how u?
I like how this sounds...
ok reads..
I'm just saying you got what it takes. I've faith in you. You're Held. So quit fretting and just go gitt 'em!!! Would ya?
Sending love, hugs, kisses, prayers & warmth
i know, i totally know!
I'm here and I'm looking at the "tiny invisible insignificant pieces lost in the piling of a carpet."
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