Dear Diary,
Tonight is a Sade and India.Arie kind of night. Hazelnut coffee and left over’s from last night’s Chinese takeout. I am choosing ignore all the shoes on the floor, unfolded laundry and all other moderate but self created annoyances.
April has been a mostly quiet month, filled with routine chaos…music, half read books, unfinished poems, growing older, a really fulfilling oncology rotation, a charming new relationship, rain, plenty of rain…and the always unending list of nuclear medicine to –do’s.
I spent a few weeks holding my breath for Allie who had a breast cancer scare…it is weird how even working where I work; I still thought things like that do not happen to me, or to people near and dear. Denial? Coping mechanism? I don’t know. I just know that I am reminded now how vulnerable we are, how unpredictable our collective and personal worlds can be, and how critical it is therefore to face our fears bravely, our friends compassionately, our foes with forgiveness, everyday with gratitude and every moment with music.
It is raining in savannah tonight, and I curl up with my review material cramming for Monday’s final, fighting the need to watch the Lakers game, or to close my eyes and drift away into complete nothingness…into a land without deadlines or un-pressed scrubs. After a while you get used to physical exhaustion, make peace with the absence of downtime and embrace your zombie mode with arms wide open.
A side note: You know that proverbial breath of fresh air? I think it found meJ
5 comments:
I'm happy for you Scotchie! 'the fresh breath of air'
Sade is totally the stuff for that moment. "I'm crying everyone's tears." and so on.
Or the new album, Soldier of Love, which is yet to get under my skin as it will inevitably do. :o)
"How unpredictable our collective and personal worlds can be, and how critical it is therefore to face our fears bravely..."
Very deep yet strongly true. In other news, I like India Arie and Chinese take-out :)
sounds like april alright!
Love how ur writing always reads familiar.
Bless
Ty, little :) I smile because I know you are a text away..a phone call away. I thank you for freaking out with me, not accepting my thank yous, for the chats, the random texts, knowing I could text at 2am and you would get and see where I was coming from. Oh such an awesome friend you are to me and the cancer scare would have been far much worse without knowing you are thinking and praying for me and remembering for me that I'm held.
All the best on the finals. Congratulations on the new found love. Ignore those shoes on the floor for now and once on the phone for hours I will clean up with you :)
xoxo
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